How to handle tantrums in children

Tantrums are a normal part of life with a preschooler. 

If your child is having tantrums more often than usual, this might signal an alert to have this checked with a healthcare professional. But if you're just trying to get through the day without losing your mind, here are some tips that may help.

Tantrums are a part of life with a preschooler

Tantrums are a normal part of development, and they often appear when your child is frustrated. Tantrums can be scary for both you and your child, but they shouldn't be taken as a sign of bad parenting or an indication that something is wrong with your child.

A tantrum isn't only caused by frustration; it's also a way to work through it. For instance, even if you're choosing not to buy candy at the store because it's not good for her health right now, there could still be some disappointment built up in her mind—and she might express this as anger without having anything else on her mind! 

So don't assume that every time your child has an outburst means that something else is wrong; instead take these times for what they are: an opportunity to help teach about emotions in ways that will benefit them later down the road!

Top Tips to Manage Tantrums in Children

Stay calm and don't take it personally

tantrums in children

Tantrums are the result of your child’s frustration, not a personal attack on you. Don’t get angry or frustrated when your child has a tantrum, as this only adds fuel to the fire and makes things worse.

Although your first instinct is to calm and reason with your child during a tantrum, do hold off that thought for a bit. It’s not really possible to reason with someone who is throwing themselves around on the floor in front of you!

However, the rule of thumb is to not give in to demands during or right after an outburst (no matter how reasonable they seem). This will just teach your child that if he/she throws enough fits they can get whatever they want—which means more tantrums down the line!

Children under two years old can't control their emotions

tantrums in children

Toddlers are learning to control their emotions, but it takes time for them to learn how to communicate about them or deal with them appropriately. 

What’s more, also bear in mind that at this young age, toddlers have limited ways of communicating their emotions and ways of dealing with those emotions. Because of this lack of ability, children will often act out as a way of expressing themselves in an attempt at seeking help or getting attention from adults when they're feeling frustrated or upset.

It's important to use words that your child can understand and relate with

The last thing you want is for them to feel judged, threatened or condescended.

Here are some examples of positive phrases you can tap on:
●    "I know it's hard not to get your way."
●    "You're having a hard time with this."
●    "I know you're upset."
●    "It's hard when things don't go your way."

Listen to your child and acknowledge their problem

tantrums in children

Let your child know that you understand how he feels. Don’t argue with your child or tell him/her to stop having a tantrum.

Most importantly, refrain from bribing your child with anything, even if it seems like an easy solution at the moment while he is in the middle of a fit.

Steer clear from getting him into doing something by saying things like "You will have more fun if we do this activity together". It won't work because you are not making your child feel good about himself in this way and it does not help him learn how to cope with frustration or anger in other situations either later on down the road when he starts school for example.

Offer limited choices

tantrums in children

When your child has a tantrum, do not give up on them. Instead, offer limited choices of solutions to the child. Use a calm voice and remind yourself that you can only help your child if they are willing to accept it.

If your child is having a tantrum, try giving them two or three choices in order to calm them down. When your child has calmed down, ask what happened when you chose one option over another. 

If possible, try offering more than one solution next time so that your child will feel like he/she had some control over the situation instead of feeling helplessly pinned down by their emotions as well as by anger or frustration at being ignored or denied access from something they really want (which may even include attention from you).

Teach your child how to express frustrations

Teach your child that he/she can't always get what they want. Explain to your child that it's not okay to throw a tantrum.

You can start by showing your child how to express their frustrations in a positive manner, such as asking for help, saying no, and using words instead of actions.

When managing tantrums, stay calm and collected!

tantrums in children

Tantrums are stressful for children and parents, but they're also a normal part of childhood. As long as you keep your cool and don't take it personally, you'll be able to deal with tantrums in your child.


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