All parents want their children to have a healthy amount of confidence and self-esteem. After all, self-assuredness helps to lay the foundation for their overall mental and emotional health, preparing them to handle both setbacks and successes in the future.
However, the key word here is ‘healthy’! Doling out extravagant amounts of praise can backfire on parents.
What are some good ways to build up our children’s self-esteem?
What exactly is self-esteem and why is it important?
Self-esteem refers to how much people value themselves, and how important they believe themselves to be in their world.
Children who have healthy self-esteem feel confident, capable and empowered. They are comfortable with themselves and who they are. They are proud of what they are capable of and they feel ready and willing to do their best.
Self-esteem and confidence are important for children to develop a growth mindset, meaning that they are not afraid to fail because they know how to pick themselves up and try again. They are motivated to cope with challenges, and are able to learn from their mistakes.
Confident children are also more likely to stand up for themselves, and do not have problems asking for help if they need it because they understand that others can help them succeed, and that it is okay to look for support to help them get there.
Spend quality time with your children
The easiest way to boost confidence in your children is to make them feel like they are important to you. Show them, rather than telling them, by carving out time to bond with them. Listen to what they have to say and mirror what they are saying to show that you are paying attention.
It can be especially hard sometimes if deadlines are looming or if household chores are calling your name, but remember that our children reach out to us to play and interact. So make the effort to put other things away and spend quality time together.
Be generous with specific praise
Children are often scolded for misbehaving or for doing the wrong thing. Even as we aim to discipline, help your child remember that they do many things right as well.
Praise them when they have behaved well or when they have done something nice, even if it is something small. For preschoolers, praise them for helping out around the house, keeping their toys, or sharing with their friends and siblings.
This helps to reinforce positive behaviours and shows them that you notice the effort they put in to make you proud.
Model positive behaviour
When things go wrong for us, it can be easy to put ourselves down, complain, or get upset. Be mindful that when we are in front of our children, they are watching the way we behave and are likely to mirror this behavior later on.
Model positive actions and reactions and talk it out. For example, you might say, “Oh, I’m so disappointed that I wasn’t able to get this done today. But that’s okay. I’ll make some time to finish it tomorrow. I worked hard today to finish whatever I could.”
This helps our children to accept that difficulties do exist but that we can surmount them with a positive attitude, as well as learn how to bounce back from setbacks and failures in life.
Encourage them to be independent and make decisions
We are often inclined to do things for our children just because we move faster and more efficiently. However, this only teaches our children to be overly dependent and to think that they cannot do things on their own.
To boost confidence in children, entrust them with simple, manageable tasks that they can handle on their own. Give them encouragement and guidance on how to get them done, and then resist the urge to step in and do it for them. It can be something simple like putting all their wooden blocks back in a box, or taking their empty plates to the sink after meals. Older children can help you order a drink at the coffeeshop, or carry a bag of light groceries.
Don’t forget to praise and thank them for their efforts so that they can see that they are being helpful to you.
How do preschools in Singapore help boost confidence in children?
The best preschools champion ways to build self-confidence and self-esteem in their children. In KiddiWinkie Schoolhouse, for example, the Kiddi Newsroom programme encourages children to be more aware of current issues happening in our local communities and around the world, helping them to realise that even as small children, they can do their part to effect change.
Special events such as show and tell as well as the annual year-end concert are also crucial in boosting children’s self-belief as they stand up in front of an audience to present. The KiddiWinkie Schoolhouse concert is held in both English and Chinese, ensuring that children stretch their linguistic capabilities as they do so.
Find out more when you book a tour at your preferred KiddiWinkie Schoolhouse location today.
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